It’s my 31’st birthday today, and I figured the best way to spend my birthday was to do a marathon of my favorite episodes of my favorite show ever: The Simpsons! At least the first 9 seasons or so. I’m legitimately excited to spend the day doing something exquisitely pathetic, it fits the times like a well written novel. Here we go!
Today I’m viewing 10 episodes, I’ll give you a list of the few that didn’t make the party today.
Honorable Mention- Burns Baby Burns (Season 8): Rodney Dangerfield is Mr. Burns son Larry, tells the Yale admissions officer ‘He made light of my weight problem, then suggested my motto ought to be “Semper Fudge”. After that he told me to “relax”‘. My Lord that is funny.
15. The Trouble With Trillions (Season 9): Homer, Mr. Burns and Smithers all defect to Cuba and try to buy it, Fidel Castro steals the trillion dollar bill. The only episode from the 9th season, which is the last season represented on this list.
14. Raging Abe Simpson and His Grumbling Grandson in ‘The Curse of the Flying Hellfish‘(Season 7): One of the most adventurous of Simpsons episodes, it also has some great Grampa Simpson lines.
Grampa: Now, my story begins in 19-dickety-two. We had to say “dickety” cause that Kaiser had stolen our word “twenty”. I chased that rascal to get it back, but gave up after dickety-six miles… [the children laugh] Martin: Dickety? Highly dubious! Grampa: What’re you cackling at, fatty? Too much pie, that’s your problem!
13. Burns Heir (Season 5): Bart becomes Burn’s heir, is manipulated into leaving his family to be trained to be exactly like Mr. Burns. So many laugh out loud moments.
12. The PTA Disbands(Season 6): It’s Principal Skinner vs. Mrs. Krabapple, and it makes for a classic.
Principal Skinner yells ‘Oh, Edna. We all know that these children HAVE no future.[everyone stops and stares at Skinner] Prove me wrong, children. Prove me wrong.’ That line is a go to in my mind when I’m in a bad meeting and I need to laugh.
11. Lisa the Iconoclast (Season 7): Lisa isn’t my favorite character in the show, but she is amazing in this episode. It’s also really interesting to think about U.S. history, how much of it may be made up, but how it still can be a good thing.
The Marathon Starts 12:50 pm
10. Homer Loves Flanders (Season 5): Ned Flander’s is my favorite character on the show. He shows Christians in a real way (sometimes flattering, sometimes not). It’s probably the fairest generalization of American Christians (not just Ned but all the church members of Springfield First Assembly). It’s forced me to repent from being mean and judgmental.
Favorite line: They don’t call me “Springfield Fats” just because I’m morbidly obese! (Homer lays on and breaks Flander’s pool table, it falls apart) Now you got a lawsuit on your hands.
9. A Milhouse Divided (Season 8): Divorce is so sad, but the tragedy is addressed with honesty here. Better yet, putting work into marriage is addressed here. Family values aren’t completely lost in this show. Plus, Kirk Van Houten’ song used to be our answering machine.
8. Mountain of Madness (Season 8): Mr. Burns is my wife’s favorite character, and he really shines here. Monty Burns is usually relentlessly cruel, conniving and evil. He’s bad here, but not that much worse than the people around him. The State Park ranger is an amazing character, everything he says makes me laugh. My favorite part is Bart with Smokey the Bear.
7. Lemon Of Troy (Season 6): Bart learns hometown pride with a vengeance. The Trojan war plot is very exciting, and I love to see the kids of Springfield showcased wonderfully here. The Simpsons has been able to really get life right, and the way it describes how kids (little boys in particular) think is perfect.
6. Much Apu About Nothing (Season 7): It was between this one and season 5’s ‘Homer And Apu’. I think they are a great comedy team, Homer being the zany one and Apu being the straight man, except the straight man constantly references Indian culture. This is a brilliant look on how politicians get the masses into a frenzy about issues that are not important to continue to screw them to their face. I have a feeling this episode will continue to be relevant 100 years from now.
I only have a Rockies baseball cap, but I plan on getting a Mets cap sometime soon because of this episode. Apu: ‘Say, let’s take a relaxed attitude toward work and watch the baseball match. The “Ny” Mets are my favorite squadron.’
5. Homer Goes To College (Season 5): Conan O’Brien wrote this episode, that’s way cool! Homer is beyond stupid here, beyond insensitive, and beyond hysterical. Some of his best moments and lines are here. His hatred for the Dean of the school is completely unwarranted, which speaks to how ridiculous teenage rebellion is. I don’t care so much for Animal House (which the episode references throughout), I’d watch this 100 times before watching that. I think this episode beats the comedy classic in every category, this opinion I hope doesn’t get me beat up by some Animal House super-fan. The treatment of nerd’s is extremely funny.
4. Treehouse Of Horror V (Season 6): I love the Halloween episodes, and it may be the only thing I like about the ‘holiday’. Treehouse III, IV, VI are also brilliant and hilarious, but this one is the best. Also, I love short stories and cartoon shorts, this meets that criteria.
The Shinning- spoof of The Shining, did the movie in a matter of minutes. Most major plot points are gone over. It’s much easier to do this than sit through Kubrick’s excellent film, which is 144 minutes.
Time and Punishment- this has always made me think of time traveling. The dozen or so alternate futures are so cool.
Nightmare Cafeteria- The kids taste like their personalities!!
3. Homer’s Enemy (Season 8): This used to be my all time favorite, I must have slightly overdosed on it. Nothing goes right for poor Frank Grimes, or ‘Grimey’ as he liked to be called. Grimes is such a boring character that you can’t help but rejoice in his misfortune. Bart has a side story where he buys a empty factory where he and Milhouse get to run amuck, a personal fantasy I’ve had. Some really big laughs here.
2. Cape Feare (Season 5): Sideshow Bob’s finest hour, and that’s saying a lot. He is one of the greatest guest stars on the series, voiced expertly by Kelsey Grammer.
That Sideshow Bob mails threatening letters in blood to Bart is what the brat deserves, it’s nice to see him sweat a bit. Bob’s parole hearing is a particularly brilliant scene. But Homer takes the cake in my favorite scene of the episode, where the FBI try working with Homer on answering to a new name.
1. A Fish Called Selma (Season 7): If Sideshow Bob is gold, than Troy McClure is a diamond. This is the only episode he has a staring role in, and it’s Phil Hartman at his comic pinnacle. Hartman also voiced Lionel Hutz, a sleazy incompetent lawyer that made any episode he appeared in pop. Troy McClure however, is what Hartman will be remembered for.
Troy is a washed up movie star you may remember from such films as Calling All Quakers, David versus Super Goliath, Gladys the Groovy Mule, Hydro: the Man With the Hydraulic Arms, Make-Out King of Montana, and The Verdict Was Mail Fraud (among many other classic films.) Regular people remember him and get star struck, but he’s a leper in Hollywood. He makes a comeback by dating a girl (making people forget his weird perversion.) The girl is Selma Bouvier, Marge’s disgusting sister. The rest of the episode writes itself. Troy’s return to the stage is a high point in not just the Simpsons, but in all of television.
It’s been a good birthday, maybe next year I’ll binge watch and blog about Little House On The Prairie.
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