I want to like Christmas, but it’s always a bit annoying to me. I loved it as a kid, but soured as years went by. The Lord saw it fit for me to marry a girl who loved Christmas more than anything. So I haven’t been able to just write Christmas off. When I think of the things I really like about the holiday (I keep saying Christmas, I’ll try to switch it up with other words) I get excited. I want to like Christmas for my wife and girls, they don’t need their dad to be a Grinch/Scrooge hybrid (ironic that Christmas conjures up grumpy people that must be taught a lesson….errrr!) Philippians 4:8 tells us- Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. So this is me doing that. In no particular order or category.
Sufjan Steven’s- Christmas Unicorn
The song is 12:28 long and is loved/hated in our house. I of course love it and listen to it with headphones. I won’t try to interpret all the lyrics, I think it’s meant to point out that it’s a multifaceted holiday with a lot of great and a lot of terrible things about it. In the end it’s agreed it’s a beautiful thing and it transforms into a choir singing Joy Division’s ‘Love Will Tear Us Apart’. So it’s easily my favorite Christmas Carol.
Home Alone
I saw this in the theater as a kid, and it’s stayed consistent in my life ever since. My friend Parker even gave me a homemade jacket of John Candy’s polka band The Kenosha Kickers, an amazing homage to a minor but important character in the movie. We watch it at least twice every year, usually more.
Egg Nog
I like egg nog! I drink liters of the stuff every November through December.
The Simpsons episodes ‘Skinner’s Sense of Snow’, ‘Grift of the Magi’
These episodes are from less excellent seasons of The Simpsons, but they’re my favorite Christmas themed episodes. I don’t want to describe them, look it up and watch them on the interweb.
Christmas Vacation
Such a funny movie, the best of this series in my opinion. Cousin Eddie always brings joy into our home every December, mostly because he’s a character in a movie and not my real cousin.
The Raveonettes- Wishing You A Rave Christmas EP
The cover of ‘Baby Please Come Home’ is gloriously noisy, and ‘Christmas Ghosts’ a gloomy enough love song. I usually don’t like Christmas music just because a band I like is doing it, but this stands out amongst the ‘alternative’ holiday drivel put out by ‘cool’ bands every year.
Vince Guaraldi Trio- A Charlie Brown Christmas
I listen to this year round, it’s fantastic. Vince Guaraldi is my favorite jazz pianist and I’ve searched hard to find his music on vinyl. This is the only thing I’ve ever found, as Barnes & Nobel sells it to hipsters every December. I should just go get it and stop looking for a used copy. It did introduce me to Guaraldi, it probably is my favorite thing he’s done. All right, I’m going to go get myself a copy! When I can find it for cheaper, I’m not getting gouged at B&N!
Batman: The Animated Series- Christmas With The Joker
I love this episode, it makes me feel all x-massy inside. It’s a bit dark, but Batman and Robin save the day and get home to Christmas dinner and “It’s A Wonderful Life’.
Gift Of The Magi- O. Henry
A librarian read this out loud to my class in 5th grade and it had an impact on me. I read it almost every year, except for the years I’m thinking in Feburary ‘did I read Gift Of The Magi in December? Shoot, I’ll have to read that come Christmastime.’ It’s a timeless story about selflessness, a married couple truly walking in love towards each other. It is most likely the thing on this list that people who love Christmas don’t appreciate enough but really should.
Waffle House
Every year since 2004 my friends and I have met at the local Waffle House at midnight on Christmas Eve. Some of my fondest memories are at these ironic dinners where we do a horrible gift exchange and have crass conversation. They are the memories I would pull on during less than pleasant work meetings to lift me up. Sharing stories here would be like sharing inside jokes, they really only make sense to the guys experiencing them. I’ve missed this meeting twice in the past ten years, and if I can help it I won’t ever miss again.
Die Hard
I think this movie is an allegory for the Nativity. John McClain is the inn keeper, Hans Gruber: Herod, Argyle, the wise-man, Holly is Mary mother of God, and Officer Powell is of course the angel that learns the true meaning of Christmas. What I just wrote is as good and edifying as 99% of church Christmas pageants. Sorry if my interpretation offends you, take it up with Bruce Willis.
Rapha & Pepper Christmas Play 2014
I usually hate church Christmas plays, I don’t need to defend my position or attack what I dislike. I truly loved seeing Pepper as a lamb, and melted when Rapha acted and sang on stage.
Run DMC- Christmas In Hollis
It’s silly and it’s a must hear for me every year.
Bob’s Burgers episodes ‘God Rest Ye Merry Gentle-Mannequins’, ‘Christmas In The Car’
Of all the shows I like, these are my favorite Christmas themed episodes. It beats the Simpson episodes I mentioned earlier by a mile. I like a lot of other TV shows but usually don’t re-watch the Christmas episodes. These are watched any time of year because they are actually funny. And surprisingly touching.
Mary Did You Know- the song and the joke
I like this song because it doesn’t paint a picture of lil baby Jesus, but rather Jesus: Lord over nature, Lord over death, ruler of the nations. So I have genuine affection for it. Nevertheless it was the source of a joke when I was 19, horsing around with my friends. For some reason or another we went to Walmart to carol for shoppers, but would only sing the first line of this song. This went on for 20 or so minutes before we were told to leave the property. Yes, I still laugh about hijinks from my teenage years.
Phil Spector- A Christmas Gift For You
Another piece I wish I owned on vinyl. To me this is what Christmas shopping sounds like.
YouTube
I’m thankful that YouTube is free, because I would never pay to watch The Star Wars Holiday Special or Christmas Comes To Pac-Land. I can never finish these or the endless pile of wonderfully horrible Christmas specials marketed towards kids, but they are super fun to watch 5 minutes of before moving on to another one.
David Neiman- The Christmas Album
Before I pastored I was a volunteer in the greatest youth ministry on the planet. They let me DJ before and after service, where I would play the hits and yell out jokes. A sweet sweet man who attended church would come around sometimes and talk to me. His name is David Neiman, and he’s a functioning special needs guy. He would tell me he loved karaoke and even recorded some albums. I told him I would love to hear his music, and one day in December Christmas came early. He gave me 4 cds, 3 of worship songs and a Christmas album. These are beyond gold to me. David must have hugged his mouth around the microphone and belted out most of the words that came across his karaoke screen all in one sitting. He always starts of really strong, stays fairly consistent, catches a second wind, and pulls out all the stops to bring the house down at the end. Yes, they are hilarious. No, I won’t post them. I’m afraid that people would make fun of him, which is the opposite of what I am doing. I’m not just laughing with him, I am celebrating life itself when I listen. David is the most sincere, honest performer I have ever heard. He is incapable of guile. I’ve shown it to a few people, they either get or they don’t. When I told David that I loved his music, he smiled from ear to ear and shouted, ‘GOOD!! I’m working on more!’ It’s not Christmas in my house without the music of David Neiman.
Hupp Family Christmas 2013
Since we spend Christmas day with our extended families, we try to set a day apart so we can do something special together. We celebrated December 19 that year, the day after my Raphaela’s birthday. We opened presents in the morning, than took our girls on an adventure. We got them haircuts and manicures at a little kid salon, let them pick animals at Build A Bear, went to the zoo, than ended the day at White Fence Farm. White Fence Farm is a giant restaurant in the vein of The Andy Griffith Show, very wholesome and old-timey. There weren’t a ton of people when we were there, and the girls got to spend quality time sitting on Santa’s lap because Santa was at the restaurant! We were together the entire day and made Christmas memories. It’s my favorite Christmas in history, though we have fun with our girls every year.
(Note- these next few were added in 2017. Last year was the best Christmas I have had in a long time, I think this making a list of things I’m thankful for helped immensely. Merry Christmas you filthy animals!)
Family Matters Marathon
Of all the cheesy 90’s family sit-coms, this is my favorite. It’s a predictable and formulaic show, but I can’t help but laugh at Steve Urkle destroying the Winslow house time and time again. It somehow never ceases to make me laugh. After Thanksgiving I started showing my girls Christmas episodes of Family Matters. Some were great, some were not as great. Urkle usually ruins or saves Christmas and someone always learns a lesson. It’s surprisingly Christian, there isn’t an episode that skips out on Jesus being a small part of His own holiday. (Hey, on network TV any mention of Jesus being Lord is a win.) The season 5 episode “Christmas Is Where The Heart Is” Steve and Carl get trapped in a train on Christmas Eve with a bunch of grumpy people needing to learn a lesson is especially great. The best part is for every episode my girls would crawl into my lap and laugh whenever Urkle would tip over the Christmas tree/break a special gift/humiliate Carl/humiliate Laura……. I love my daughters laughs best.
Family Times
Years ago my friends Parker and Dillon Groeneman did a satirical send up of cheesy 90’s sit-coms that was all too hilarious. When Park’s older brother Fletcher makes an appearance as the mayor and threatens to cancel Christmas I’m loving my life.
Wham-Last Christmas
I used to loath this song until this year. My daughters told me it was one of their favorite songs, so we looked it up and watched the classy 80’s music video. My girls were singing in their stylized sassy way and I was won over. Now I can hear it without grinding my teeth!
Muppets Video’s
My mom special ordered these two VHS tapes with Muppet episodes on them for a Christmas present when I was in 8th grade. Every time I see these videos on the shelf or watch them I’m reminded of how much my mom loves me and wanted to connect with her son. None of the episodes are Christmas themed, but the Muppets are forever a symbol of Christmas because of these tapes (and Muppet Christmas Carol.)
The Latke Who Couldn’t Stop Screaming- Lemony Snicket
Is Hanukkah just Jewish Christmas? Nope. I love this book and how it distinguishes the two holidays and makes the statement: not everything is a symbol of Christmas, even if you really want it to be.
Far featuring Chino Moreno-Do They Know It’s Christmas
The rock version of Band-Aid’s charity song is a rarity: A holiday cover song that isn’t horrendous. Far were a great band and Chino from the Deftones is a nice touch.
King Of The Hill
The episode “The Unbearable Blindness of Laying” is an especially funny and heartwarming piece of television. We showed it to my parents on Thanksgiving this year. My brothers and I were loving it, my parents somehow didn’t get it. Oh well, it still cracks me up every time I watch. In the episode Hank has a dislike of his mothers boyfriend but eventually is won over by the man’s kindness. The line that always gets me is the Jewish boyfriend Gary makes a light hearted joke to Hank, to which Hank replies ‘That’s great there Gary. Thanks for turning my holiday into a Woody Allen special.’ Classic!
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