In My Room- The Beach Boys
Every difficulty I was walking through would surely be worth it, I was convinced whole heartedly. I wasn’t just floating through life, I had a destination on the other side of this journey. With the heartache my wife and I were experiencing we sorely needed God to bring us refreshing. Fortunately for us we had a trip to California with the people we planned to do ministry with. It was going to be a gigantic step forward to where we were supposed to be.
In my mind there was no place for us in the state of Colorado. We left our church of employment, where we never really felt at home anyway. Our home church that we left to pursue ministry had completely changed that it wouldn’t remember or receive us. It was as if Krypton had blown up and Superman realized he was an orphan, no home or adopted place to call home. Church shopping was an awkward experience and furthered my speculation: we must get out of this state. In California our friends awaited us with a mandate from Heaven. I needed to follow someone who had a heart to follow God no matter what. That man and his wife are named Bob & Tammie. They really had heard from God about starting a church. AdriElle and I were so connected to them that with all the circumstances we were going through moving to California to do ministry absolutely made sense to me.
So we got a weekend off and flew to San Francisco. For a full weekend I wasn’t afraid of my future. We dreamed with our friends and made tentative plans for a church. We drove up to Redding to visit Bethel church and had such an incredible time. Even though we still couldn’t conceive how it could possibly be done, I knew moving to California to start a church was what I wanted more than anything else in life. It became my new safe place I would go to in my mind. After the trip things got worse at King Soopers and life seemed to become more hopeless. I would find solace in a hazy idea that this season would end and I would be fulfilling my destiny in California. The song ‘In My Room’ by the Beach Boys evokes that tranquility I would feel as I escaped in my mind. I used to listen to it on the record player in my church office repeatedly after I found a beat up copy of Surfer Girl at Goodwill. If I had to pick I would say it is my all time favorite song. It also speaks to the wishful thinking teenage mentality I had in the season. I wanted to hide from all of my problems instead of actually dealing with them. I thought I had found a way I could actually do that, but this season wasn’t over yet. I am very thankful for the moments of joy I had when I was dreaming. Even though this dream was doomed to fall apart, God had an even better plan for me. My dream was to escape, but He had a plan to make me whole.
thebearplane 
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