Victory At Sea

We have been out far longer than we ever expected.  Some days are beautiful and you can see for miles the possibilities.  Some days you feel trapped because you can see for miles into the great unpromising unknown.  When I put my family on this boat I was fully confident the ride would have an end to it.  I wonder if I have defined things like beginnings and ends all wrong.  Will we ever find the land we are looking for, or was that wishful thinking?  Well meaning passer byers tell us we are already there.  Some say that it does not exist and this is our life now.  These people are not my kind of people.  They do not know what I know.

I know this land exists and I will not stop looking until we find it.  Like any pioneer looking for something different than their current dwelling space I am forging ahead.  Why would anybody in their right mind take this journey?  I have concluded there are two real reasons to hop on to this boat.

One, the Captain is completely trustworthy.  Not saying He is predictable because He is anything but.  He requires the impossible, promises the impossible, and everything He is screams impossible.  As gentle as He is I sometimes consider Him sadistic for bringing us into terrifying storms, fighting the most deplorable enemies, and refusing to comfort when I feel I have had enough.  I have foolishly considered wrong on countless occasions.  The Captain is the greatest thing that ever happened to me.  He knows what He is doing.  No one can do what He does.  My Captain is trustworthy.

Two, settling in a land where there is no hope for your family’s future is not an option.  I used to believe that it was the physical place I was in life that I had to refuse, but this journey has opened my eyes that the land I was in was not entirely the problem.  I followed the call of the Captain onto a journey looking for a place thinking the place was the point.  It turns out the journey was the point.  I had a slight feeling it was what I could be signing up for but was offended when that was actually the case.  No matter, staying the same was never an option.

To get from one side of the sea to the other not only requires that the boat moves but that we as the passengers have been moved.  It seems so simple that we could just sail across the way and weather the storms that come, but we are not allowed to come into new territory without passing the Captains test.  It is not because He enjoys withholding new things from me, it is because He is protecting me from being unprepared.  When you pass His test the wind blows the ship in the right direction.  Failing a test is like dying in a video game.  It is agonizing because of the work you put into winning, humiliating because your friends were watching you, and redeeming because you have another life left.  Failing a test has resulted in a broken heart for me on many occasions, but I ask the Captain for help passing a test and can feel the compassion and warmth He has for me as the explanation comes for how to win.  He wants me to win so badly!  No one cheers for my victory more than my Captain.  Passing a test feels amazing because there is forward momentum, but earning the praise of the One is like finding out you are a superhero.  One of the most satisfying days I have had out here is when I was required to stop coming up with a solution to a big problem and relinquish control of the situation to the Captain. When in my heart I surrendered completely I was greeted with a kiss and heard a whisper that satisfied my soul.  Still I asked the question ‘How am I going to pass this test?’  He answered ‘That was the test, you passed!  I am so proud of you!’  I have been out to sea far longer than I ever expected, but I am riding these waves in victory.

After all is said and done the distance traveled could be measured in oceans or ponds.  Only after the voyage can we try to measure how far we have come.  When we dock this boat someday and enter the promised land I know we will look at this time as a finest hour of sorts.  It will be memorialized as the time when my house and I forged our allegiance to the One who deserves it all.   There have been days when the cost seemed so steep and the fear of being lost forever almost choked us out, but came to our senses when we were with the Captain.  It will all be worth it.  It has all been worth it.